By
Khadijah Balogun
Life has a way of testing people in unexpected ways, and for many women in business and marriage, the road to success is often lined with betrayal, envy, and painful setbacks. While outsiders see financial stability and a happy home, the reality is often much harsher.
The Hidden Struggles Behind Success, Aisha Adebayo had everything most women dreamed of, a thriving business, a comfortable home, and a seemingly happy marriage. From the outside, she was the perfect example of success. But beneath the surface, she faced relentless opposition from those closest to her.
Her husband’s family believed she controlled his finances, accusing her of limiting their access to his wealth. Meanwhile, her own family resented her prosperity, assuming she was selfishly rich. No matter how much she gave, it was never enough.“I thought success would bring respect,” Aisha recalled. “Instead, it made me a target.”
Aisha’s challenges weren’t unique. Other women in her position faced similar struggles, balancing their businesses and marriages while dealing with family betrayals and societal pressures.
Aisha Adebayo
Bola Allison started a food business and worked hard to make it successful. She thought she had enough money to take care of her family. But then, her husband lost his job and wanted her to give him all the money she was making.
“At first, I supported him,” Bola said. “But when he started making financial decisions without consulting me, borrowing money in my name, using my business account, I knew I was in trouble.”
Her in-laws sided with him, telling her that as a wife, her money was no longer hers. Even when she refused, they accused her of disrespecting him.
“I was working hard every day, yet I was treated like an outsider in my own home,” she said.
For every woman who rises in business, there are whispers behind her back, accusations that she is too ambitious, too independent, too controlling. In the eyes of society, her success is often seen as a threat rather than an achievement. If she is married, people assume she must be the one controlling her husband, dictating his finances, or making him feel inferior. If she is unmarried, they wonder why she has prioritized business over marriage.
Hafsat Abdulkareem’s heart was shattered into a million pieces. She had taken her younger sister under her wing, teaching her the ins and outs of the fashion world. She had given her a chance, shared her resources, and even connected her with valuable clients. But instead of gratitude, her sister repaid her kindness with betrayal.
Hafsat’s eyes welled up with tears as she recalled the day she discovered her sister’s deceit. She used everything I gave her to build a rival business, “She used my resources, my shop, my contacts,” Hafsat said, shaking her head. And when I confronted her, she didn’t even feel guilty. She stole my customers, my ideas… my trust.
The pain of her sister’s betrayal was like a knife to the heart. Hafsat’s family urged her to forgive, to remember that blood ties were stronger than business. But how could she forgive when the wound was still so raw?
“She’s your sister,” they said. But to Hafsat, that only made the hurt worse. Her own flesh and blood had turned against her, exploiting her kindness and generosity. The pain cut too deep, and Hafsat couldn’t help but wonder: what had she done to deserve such betrayal?
Hafsat Abdulkareem
The ultimate test came in 2020 when a fire gutted her shop, when Aisha needed support the most, she was met with cruelty instead of kindness. Her in-laws mocked her, whispering that her misfortune was payback for past mistakes. Her friends vanished, abandoning her in her time of need. And when she turned to her own family for help, they turned their backs on her, leaving her feeling utterly alone. Instead of sympathy, she faced mockery. “They assume I still had money hidden somewhere,” she said. “But I had nothing left.”
Her husband, Abdul Rasaq, was struggling with his own financial troubles and couldn’t help much. For the first time in her life, Aisha felt truly alone.
Dr. Zainab Yusuf, a psychologist and marriage counselor, believes that cultural expectations play a huge role in these struggles.
“In many societies, a woman’s success is seen as a threat,” she explained. Men are expected to be the providers, and when a woman earns more, it disrupts that dynamic. Families and in-laws often react with resentment rather than support.
She also highlighted the lack of financial independence education for women. “Many women are taught to depend on their husbands, so when they become successful on their own, it creates tension.”
One of the biggest reasons why successful women face resistance, especially in marriage, is the perceived threat to male ego. In traditional households, a man’s financial strength is often tied to his authority. If his wife becomes the main breadwinner, it can challenge his self-image, leading to frustration, hostility, and in extreme cases, emotional or financial abuse.
“I’ve counseled couples where the man became depressed and withdrawn after his wife started earning more,” Dr. Yusuf said. “Instead of seeing her success as a family win, he saw it as a personal failure. He felt redundant, like he was no longer needed.”
Sarah Adebayo, a widow with three children, ran a small catering business. When her husband passed, his family immediately tried to take over her assets, claiming she had no right to them.
“They said as a woman, I had no claim to anything he left behind,” Sarah said. “If I had listened to them, my children and I would have been left with nothing.”
Taiwo Balogun’s story was similar. As a trader, she built her business with her husband’s support. But when she started earning more than him, the relationship changed.
“He began treating me differently, as if my success was an insult to him,” she said. “Eventually, he left, saying he needed a wife who ‘knew her place.’”
Despite the heartbreak and loss, Aisha refused to let her circumstances define her. With no savings and no help, she started from scratch this time, wiser and stronger.
She convinced a few suppliers to trust her with goods on credit. She worked harder than ever, sometimes skipping meals to reinvest every naira into her business.
One of those who helped her was Mr. Diekola, a supplier who saw her determination. “She wasn’t looking for pity,” he said. “She just needed a chance.”
Slowly but surely, Aisha rebuilt. This time, she expanded into online sales and delivery services, ensuring her business was not just restored but stronger than before.
Her husband’s family, once quick to blame her, now watched in silence as she succeeded again. And her own family, once envious, now sought her advice on business matters.
Dr. Yusuf stresses the importance of women’s financial empowerment and self-reliance. “Women must learn to protect their financial independence. Support systems are important, but resilience is key. A setback is never the end, it’s an opportunity to rebuild smarter.”
Through all the trials, Aisha emerged not just as a successful entrepreneur but as a role model for women facing similar struggles. “People will doubt you. They will try to break you,” she said. “But the only thing that matters is that you don’t break.”
Dr. Yusuf believes another major issue is the way financial independence is framed for women. Many women are raised to see money as a temporary resource, something that must be shared rather than protected.
“From a young age, girls are taught to depend on their husbands, even when they are financially capable,” she said. “This means that many women, even after building wealth, do not see the importance of securing their assets or setting boundaries. They give without limits, and when the well runs dry, they are left alone to pick up the pieces.”
This is why women like Aisha, Bola, and Hafsat find themselves abandoned in times of crisis. The same people who benefited from their generosity disappear when they have nothing left to give.