Diary of an Observer: Mr Kolapo Alimi’s Sick Obsession

When a man breaks up with a woman or a woman breaks up with a man, the couple is expected to go their separate ways, move on, abi? And when you say goodnight and you are seen off by your host in Yoruba land, it is expected you are going home to sleep. But if you return clandestinely to peep through the window or keyhole of your former host, you do not expect to be treated nicely. In fact, you may be mistaken for a thief.

For the man who’s ex had moved on and married another man, if he keeps going to peep through the window of the new husband, he can hope, at best, for a broken head. Things could get really bad for a man who can’t move on.

Isn’t that what psychologists call obsession? An obsessed man or woman needs help if you ask me but since you didn’t ask me, I’ll move on to other things.

Like, why are some people angry that Governor Oyetola is making impact and making things happen in Osun? Why are they unhappy? Is it not strange that some people are more worried about if Oyetola has done ‘Oogun owo’ (money ritual) to pay salaries of Osun workers instead of praising him that he’s paying. It’s like being able to pee after months of dragging around a catheter under your robe. Only your enemies will ask if you have a third kidney instead of congratulating you on your good health.

So why is Mr. Kolapo Alimi cursing , raving and foaming in the mouth over a court matter that was bad from inception? He’s neither a judge nor a successful lawyer. What is so hard about moving on and accepting defeat like a man with honour, a good sportsman? What’s this obsession with the house where he had been seen off? We have said goodnight, Mr. Alimi and his co-travellers should just move on. But then, I heard they have no other ‘shop’ so they must chop-and-quench here. No, Sir, it’s time to face the reality of your situation.

Eight years in office, a powerful office for that matter, is enough. Oga, “Die to ninu nnkan oninkan”. Didn’t we hear that all you set out to be was a local government council scribe? Ha, ha, fear God now. Commissioner for Local Government and Chieftaincy Affairs for eight years is enough. We heard that you wielded so much influence you were everywhere. This your obsession with the present administration is acute symptoms of severe withdrawal syndrome. We feel you but Yorubas are not known to defer and rever yesterday’s men when today’s men are doing well.

Mr. Alimi, buy yourself a N40,000 special horn that blows like siren, if it will make you feel better and important. As for dragging Mr. Oyetola’s name in the mud, it will amount to nothing. Accept your fate and move on.

Check your blood pressure regularly, because the way you work yourself up every time Mr. Oyetola commissions or flags off a project, you are liable to burst an artery soon. And we, the good people of Osun, don’t want you to die any foolish and avoidable death. Take care of yourself. Move on. You will not become the Attorney –General of Osun, not now, not any time soon. That ship has sailed.

Don’t use your mouth to make negative confessions about untimely death. It is sad that you have sunk this low. What is the desperation about, really? How did you get to this sorry pass, where the only job you do now is to grab every available microphone and spew pathetic tales? We understand your pain and recommend that you see a shrink fast. Your mind is spiraling and we are very worried on your behalf. E pele sir.